THE UNFIXING, a feature documentary, is a poetic exploration of my journey from illness to healing, framed by the intensifying global climate crisis. The film presents a richly textured visual diary, capturing the intimate moments of my personal struggles with a debilitating illness and the ripple effects on my family, all while engaging with larger ecological questions. As my body begins to break down, so too does the planet – both requiring a radical transformation and renewal.
About 10 years ago, I became incredibly ill. I couldn’t move. I thought I was dying; doctors couldn’t help me. It was terrifying, and sent me on this dreamlike journey as I was in bed, half asleep, half awake for hours at a time. I felt this connection to what was happening on the planet in terms of loss of biodiversity and climate change, and it was heartbreaking, but it also gave me this tether to nature.
I went on a journey of discovery and healing, which is the story of the film. It opened up this incredible life force from nature, and learning from people who connect with nature. The impetus to make the film was, in part, because so many people are in despair right now about what’s happening to our world. My youngest child in the movie says, “You’ve given us a broken present. This planet you handed to us, and you’re expecting us to fix it.” It’s the worst thing a mother could hear, right? At the same time, all these people are chronically ill, feeling isolated, trapped, and medicine isn’t helping them. The film is a heart offering to those feeling this way, perhaps providing beauty, insight, and wonder.
Making THE UNFIXING was a 7-8 year process that included logging 60 years of family home movies. I have urban-bred impatience. The biggest challenge was the way my disability forced me to work slowly. Then a friend of mine who is an indigenous elder (in the film) told me that “Spirit works at its own pace” – meaning it takes as long as it takes, you cannot rush it. And now I would say “Filmmaking works at its own pace”, especially on “crip time” (the way time moves differently for disabled people).
One of the biggest challenges was how to depict my inner experiences. I developed a personal strategy – to ask myself while falling asleep for help with a scene or transition. I would ask the same question nightly till a dream or vision would appear with the images or editing solution.
I have a loving and supportive family, but I still felt alone in bed often. I started to trust that somehow, when the time was right, the right people would come on board – “filmmaking works at its own pace.” Then my Associate Producer Fernanda Rossi introduced me to Rose Kowalski of Horizontal Films and she became the Producer who took the film to the next level. Rose is based in Girona and Barcelona and my husband/composer Bray Poor and I finished the film there with the brilliant team at Antaviana.
Independent thought, art, women, and nature are all under attack in the USA and much of the world. Seeing and talking about independent film is an act of defiance in a world ruled by those who want to destroy complexity. The Worcester Film Festival is connecting our film, THE UNFIXING, to an engaged community that uplifts this vital idea – we can come together with all of our diversity, explore through our creativity, and dream of a new world that we can shape together.
Please stay in touch – follow us on Instagram @theunfixing and subscribe to our newsletter – the link is on our website theunfixing.com to watch the trailer, learn about events, online workshops, and get extra video clips.
